Well, I guess Sanjaya finally got voted off of American Idol last night. I say "I guess" because I don't really know. I've maybe watched a total of 3 hours of the entire series, and those were just bits and peices. I never really got into it. The whole idea that you can "create" a music star seems strange to me. Music is about taking personal experiences and making them trasferable and meaningful to others. Sure, they have great voices, but it seems that lots of people have great voices. Just didnt make sence to me.
It’s getting to the end of this school semester, and that can only mean one thing – ROAD TRIP. It’s time to go to your friends schools and destroy their place and try to hook up with their attractive friends. However, when visiting other places of academia, one must adhere to a code of conduct in order to maximize fun for all parties involved – so I give to you the GUIDE TO COLLEGE VISITS
First order of business, and probably the most talked about, it is not your friend’s responsibility to get you laid. Relaxed introductions are all that is required. Your pal didn’t spend all this time making friends so you could come in and give them all herpes one weekend. Sex with friends of friends is encouraged, but you need to spit your own game at those bitches and not have your friend do all the work. Your host is allowed and encouraged to get a little sucky-sucky of his own, but he must end up at the place where the guest is to sleep. If the host leaves his guest locked outside of his place for a night cause he’s at some chick’s house, there will be severe punishment. As for who is off limits, anyone that the host himself could not get with for moral reasons, (buddies ex’s, ect…) so also shall the guest refrain from poking his dick where it does not belong. The name of the game is leaving a pleasant taste in the mouths of all your host’s friends so a return trip will be good for both sides.
As for drinking, “When in Rome…” The visiting party must drink the choice of the host. I don’t care if you only drink Bud or if you think all other beers are gross, if your friend says that u are drinking pig jizz, you do it. However, the host must drink the same thing as you.
Example:“here man, have a pint of ale. It’s a local favorite.”
“sorry dude, I only drink miller high life light. It’s the Champaign of Beers.”
“fuck you and drink it or I will castrate you while you sleep.”
“fair enough.”
You can drink your ass-sweat juice when you get back to your shitty college. When you are out with friends in their element, you need to experience their culture. Try new things. Hell who knows, you just might like it…As for money, keep in mind that without your friend to shelter you, your ass would be under a black trash bag in the streets trying to get heat from the sewer vent and being prodded by homeless guys’ dicks. Or paying $30 bucks a night in a motel, whichever you choose. As this is the case, you need to not be shy with the dollars. You should appreciate the fact that these people are putting you up for the night and react accordingly.
For a one-weekend stay, you are required to buy one lunch for everyone who lives in the apartment you are staying. If you are in a large building like a house or a frat, this only applies to the people that you have actually shared a room with. When at the bar, usual patterns of random drink-buying are acceptable, as drinking is already far to expensive. The guest never buys the first round though.
What’s drinking with out a little drugs as well! Guests must come prepared, as it is not the hosts’ responsibility to “hook him up” when he rolls into town. If host has some on hand, share the wealth, but finding a dealer is out of the question. Buy your crank at home, but bring enough to share. Guests must offer to their host and their host’s roommates, however, roommates need not offer to guests. If an offer from a roommate is on the table, polite refusal is acceptable, but in no way can you say anything to the effect of, “that drug makes me uncomfortable, will you do it elsewhere.” That’s more wrong than watching your hot cousin change clothes (but not as fun!).
When having a friend accompany you to visit another school, it’s a good idea to switch drivers to avoid boredom and discomfort on those long rides. It also allows that nasty beer-fart smell to exit the car on the return trip. When you get to the campus, if you go out for any reason in the afternoon, it’s good to have the guest drive to the liquor store/restaurant/where ever the fuck you go to get a general sense of direction about the town. From personal experience, SIU is a big place if you’ve never been there before and you are all alone and lost at 3 in the AM. I wish I had known my way around, or I wouldn’t have been lost.
It’s getting to the end of this school semester, and that can only mean one thing – ROAD TRIP. It’s time to go to your friends schools and destroy their place and try to hook up with their attractive friends. However, when visiting other places of academia, one must adhere to a code of conduct in order to maximize fun for all parties involved – so I give to you the GUIDE TO COLLEGE VISITS
First order of business, and probably the most talked about, it is not your friend’s responsibility to get you laid. Relaxed introductions are all that is required. Your pal didn’t spend all this time making friends so you could come in and give them all herpes one weekend. Sex with friends of friends is encouraged, but you need to spit your own game at those bitches and not have your friend do all the work. Your host is allowed and encouraged to get a little sucky-sucky of his own, but he must end up at the place where the guest is to sleep. If the host leaves his guest locked outside of his place for a night cause he’s at some chick’s house, there will be severe punishment. As for who is off limits, anyone that the host himself could not get with for moral reasons, (buddies ex’s, ect…) so also shall the guest refrain from poking his dick where it does not belong. The name of the game is leaving a pleasant taste in the mouths of all your host’s friends so a return trip will be good for both sides.
As for drinking, “When in Rome…” The visiting party must drink the choice of the host. I don’t care if you only drink Bud or if you think all other beers are gross, if your friend says that u are drinking pig jizz, you do it. However, the host must drink the same thing as you.
Example:“here man, have a pint of ale. It’s a local favorite.”
“sorry dude, I only drink miller high life light. It’s the Champaign of Beers.”
“fuck you and drink it or I will castrate you while you sleep.”
“fair enough.”
You can drink your ass-sweat juice when you get back to your shitty college. When you are out with friends in their element, you need to experience their culture. Try new things. Hell who knows, you just might like it…As for money, keep in mind that without your friend to shelter you, your ass would be under a black trash bag in the streets trying to get heat from the sewer vent and being prodded by homeless guys’ dicks. Or paying $30 bucks a night in a motel, whichever you choose. As this is the case, you need to not be shy with the dollars. You should appreciate the fact that these people are putting you up for the night and react accordingly.
For a one-weekend stay, you are required to buy one lunch for everyone who lives in the apartment you are staying. If you are in a large building like a house or a frat, this only applies to the people that you have actually shared a room with. When at the bar, usual patterns of random drink-buying are acceptable, as drinking is already far to expensive. The guest never buys the first round though.
What’s drinking with out a little drugs as well! Guests must come prepared, as it is not the hosts’ responsibility to “hook him up” when he rolls into town. If host has some on hand, share the wealth, but finding a dealer is out of the question. Buy your crank at home, but bring enough to share. Guests must offer to their host and their host’s roommates, however, roommates need not offer to guests. If an offer from a roommate is on the table, polite refusal is acceptable, but in no way can you say anything to the effect of, “that drug makes me uncomfortable, will you do it elsewhere.” That’s more wrong than watching your hot cousin change clothes (but not as fun!).
When having a friend accompany you to visit another school, it’s a good idea to switch drivers to avoid boredom and discomfort on those long rides. It also allows that nasty beer-fart smell to exit the car on the return trip. When you get to the campus, if you go out for any reason in the afternoon, it’s good to have the guest drive to the liquor store/restaurant/where ever the fuck you go to get a general sense of direction about the town. From personal experience, SIU is a big place if you’ve never been there before and you are all alone and lost at 3 in the AM. I wish I had known my way around, or I wouldn’t have been lost.
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